Visual Novels

This isn't obvious due to the structure of this website, but I am a huge reader! This combines well with anime, subtitles, and so on - but more relevantly, visual novels! I enjoy, of all things, their in-and-out format. Clicking to reveal lines is weirdly satisfying, and they're just as easy to put down and pick up as books. On top of that, lots of them have interesting story structures and do things books can't really do - despite the attempts of ergodic literature to get weird. For a fun basic example, you read through a visual novel, get to the end, and it expects you to restart it - and it adds new scenes that previously weren't available, adding new context to the story. A lot of them have multiple endings and huge branching story routes as well, so you're incentivized to restart and get the whole story.

Right now I'm in a huge otome mood - otome meaning romance-focused visual novels aimed at women, so they typically feature a selection of hot men to date. Yet they're not dating simulators - there's no managing schedules, none of the interactive features you see in the popular Tokimeki Girls' Memorial series. These are visual novels first, and some track love points or other things - but for the most part it's pick the right dialogue choices to wind up on your chosen man's route to see his story. These are story-focused first, and in my opinion it pays off. Most of the otome I read have very strong plots - the romance is a spice, a reward for learning the plots.

Cupid Parasite

CupiPara is almost entirely unlike anything I like in a visual novel: comedy focused, silly, almost no room for plot. I prefer drama, tragedy, adventure, etc etc. But here I am reading it anyways, and it's adorable!

The plot has two sides: side A is greek mythology. Our protagonist is Cupid - THE Cupid - a deity who lives in Celestia, spending her time shooting love arrows at humans. She likes her job - except that she gets scolded because it's just not working. Humans are falling in love and getting married - and then getting divorced. Divorce rates are up! Oh no! (Insert long conversation about how modern American society discourages marriage and makes it difficult for people to socialize, plus with the weakening of traditional 'family roles' there's even less incentive to go for the standard marriage, plus talking about the role of queer marriage and poly relationships-- the game, alas/fortunately, does not really examine this and focuses on being fluffy... at least so far.) I respect that Cupid takes this criticism as a reason to go find out, well, how humans do it. She sends herself to Earth, goes to college, lives as a human - and becomes a bridal advisor for the Cupid Corporation.

That is the mythological aspect - it has more to it, and I guarantee it will come up deeper into the character routes, but for now it's set dressing. Cupid has her bow and arrow and could use magic to find everyone's true love, but she wants to learn human methods to find true love for others instead - thus creating healthy long-term relationships that don't end in divorce. I like this. I like examining the difference between love at first sight and building a working relationship. I'm biased as I'm in one, and place a lot of value in learning how to be compatible, communication, etc - but it's so nice to see a story emphasize this.

Side B is the meat of the story: Cupid, now going as Lynette Mirror, wants a promotion. Her boss says she can have one... if she can take the five worst clients at her matchmaking company and get them married. We proceed to meet the least appealing group of love interests in an otome I've ever met, as their initial impressions are bad.

They're called 'The Parasite Five', they all suck, and here's their profiles:

Gill Lovecraft, the Lovelorn Parasite. He signed up to find a wife because he cannot stop pining for a girl he met in college, and he thinks this will work. Unfortunately, his advisor is Lynette... the girl he met in college. He comes across as a shy, sweet guy who is utterly devoted to the point of suppressing himself. I'm torn on thinking he's cute and would be a good match, and being terrified that he has a stepford smile, and as one reviewer put it - he's one bad day from becoming a full yandere. (Overprotective, controlling, all in the name of devotion.) I'm curious if his character route can make him less threatening - but we'll see!

Monsieur Esse, aka Shelby Snail, aka Lynette's boss - the CEO of Cupid Corp. Prestige Parasite. A workaholic who is known to the press as a loving and devoted husband, he, uh, isn't actually married and revealing this now would destroy the company. So he's desperate, and tries to resolve this by... proxy dating? Lynette is told Monsieur Esse is rich, private, and eccentric and she needs to get him married. He has sent his secretary as a proxy to relay all conversation. If this isn't bad enough, I need to emphasize: he is a workaholic. When he isn't working (which is never) he is either exercising or sleeping. He eats jelly drinks and protein bars and has no life outside of being a well-connected CEO. I'm doing his route first because, well, I'm curious to see how we'll resolve the almost impossible obstacles here.

Raul Aconite. Obsessed Parsite. An actor who doesn't want to get married. He's here because he's been cast in a high profile romance movie and he wants to learn about love so he can act it better. He's also a huge - HUGE - mythology nerd, and comes across as autistic. (This is not intended as disparagement - I am autistic and his infodumping feels familiar.) He works mythology into every conversation he can, infodumps as much as he can, and doesn't seem to realize that he's overpowering conversations and being offputting. I would say that instead of love, he needs to learn about how to interact with other people first... but then I do my best to mask, which is why I have this website. Ahem. The game does not bring up autism at all on the common route. I am curious about his route - but you can't access it without beating the game first!

Keisaiin F Ryuki, Ryuki for short. Glamor Parasite. A nineteen year old fashion designer who was forced to sign up by his family, as an attempt to get him to stop being a snooty teenager. Yeah. I will be completely honest: I'm over thirty. My reaction to this guy is that I want to wait at least five years to see how he matures. Even if I try to set the age thing aside, his issues are both annoying and straightforward: he judges everyone based on physical appearance, is obsessed with beauty and maintaining it, and doesn't want to talk to anyone who is ugly. He uses a spritz bottle to make people back off, claiming the air is dry and bad for the skin. He calls people based on hex color codes, in a 'cute' way to describe that he's calling everyone a 4 or 5 and he'll only talk to 8s. Yeah. I'm not prioritizing his route - that said, reviewers mention it's apparently a good starting point as, well, it's straightforward like he is. I don't hate that.

Allan Melville. Thieving Parasite. He doesn't want to get married either! He's here explicitly because he's horny for women who are taken. He wants to meet people who are in love so he can try to seduce them. Yeah. Yep. Yeah. This is everything I don't want in a man, fictional or otherwise. That said... I am curious about his story, because this seems set up to explode violently for everyone involved. Also, like Raul, you can't date him without beating the game first - which implies juicy secret story stuff.

Secret Character. What? Yes! There is a secret love interest that you can access by finishing every route.I am desperate to find out who he is, but I have some suspicions already...

So... yeah. This is the rom-com aspect. NONE of these guys are worth your time, it's clear to everyone especially the protagonist, and so this provides a weirdly compelling hook: what is their deal? How will Lynette help them? Since you know it's an otome and she's destined to date all of them... how? Why? Will she be happy? And so here I am frantically racing through the game, eager to find out.

I read otome for escapism reasons, and this one is perfect. The stakes are low, the plot is silly, the characters are interesting, and there's a whiff of mythology. I proceeded to blast through the common route, and - oh! I should explain the structure of the game. It has a flowchart, but honestly it doesn't need one. This is simple: [common route] -> [character route] -> [ending] -> [restart, choose different choices in common route] -> [character route], etc. Common route choices determine two things: A) which route you're going on, and B) the initial conditions for a good/bad ending. Endings for characters are: Normal, Bad, Good, with some alternatives.

The common route is short! I don't have a time estimate (thanks, Switch, for not having great playtime estimates!), but it only took me a few days of casual reading in the evenings. I would say it's good with some great moments and it got me invested - but it is a bit flawed, in that there's a little too much repetition (Lynette, oh my gosh, I know you're Cupid and you want people to get married happily) and some of the plot beats are TOO silly... but none of it was a dealbreaker for me. Cupid Parasite tells you straight up it's going to be silly, and the repetition did end. What I thought was the silliest aspect - too silly - actually turned out charming? Here's what it is: halfway through, for publicity, Cupid Corp's advertising director basically forces Lynette and the Parasite 5 to live in the same house for a reality show for a month. They all go along with it with a "sure, why not?" attitude and it turns into an excuse for some really nice humor and bonding as a group. I've also never read something that really played with reality shows as a concept like this - what's trending on fake!instagram mattered to Lynette.

That said, while the entire game is set in fake!America (they're in the city of Los York), the reality show segments were so obviously written by Japanese writers who aren't familiar with how Americans do reality shows - the show was presented by a morning show host, and the entire vibe was, well - forgive the youtube link, but have you ever seen the clip of the Japanese people asked to eat items that are made of chocolate - or not? The over the top presentation, the extreme goofiness - that was Cupid Parasite's show, which stood out to me, a veteran of watching stuff like Project Runway or America's Next Top Model. It also wasn't invasive, in the sense that - there were no hidden cameras, they weren't filmed all the time, it was just "we've stuck these people in a house, and we come to film every week! what will happen?!?!?!?" Very weird... but also kind of wholesome? I am ruined by American television.

Now I'm on Shelby's route, and I'm happy to report that early in it just drops the pretense that Lynette hasn't guessed who Monsieur Esse is by now. I'll report back when I read more! - 11/7/2023

Cupid Parasite - Update (Spoilers for Shelby Snail's route!)

Shelby Snail's route complete, and a bad end acquired! I watched the credits roll, and got a complete story and I am really, really happy. This is one of the odd joys of visual novels - I could uninstall the game and be done and happy. But I really do want to see more, so back in I go! But let's talk about Shelby first. In a lot of ways I really think the common route pushes him as a 'main' character - even if he's not on the box art. Why? Because he has POV scenes where we see what he's thinking, the first choice in the game you make influences if he likes you or not, and his hook of hiding his identity is really interesting.

It's funny, too - in a vacuum I like to play these games blind and see who I wind up with. But this one is very direct about how you should pick, and I... actually chose Raul first, because I wanted (want) to find out what his deal is. He won't stop infodumping, he reads as autistic, I need to know more, basically. But his route is locked at first! So I turned to the walkthrough, and it recommends Ryuki first. But I feel no desire to prioritize him, and well - Shelby is my second choice. Sorry, Shelby, but... you know what? His route fleshed him out as a really great guy! (Yes yes I know he's a business owner and rich and eat the rich. I'm playing this game for the fantasy, ssh.) So the deal is: common route ends, the game shuffles off the other guys (they quit Cupid Corp and go back to their lives) and we focus on Lynette trying to help the still active, still mysterious Monsieur Esse. I was wondering how the game would handle the secret identity thing, but he basically calls Lynette into his office and reveals it very early on. Which then shifts it over to - industrial espionage! Someone keeps trying to sneak and get photos of Shelby's home so they can prove to the press that he's single - instead of married like he says he is. To that end, as Lynette agrees to keep trying to find him a partner, in the meantime she also agrees to move in with him and become his fake wife, so he can introduce her to business partners at dinners and fool the snoop. I immediately got the popcorn out for a good fake dating AU, and it delivered in spades. Kind of cliche spades, but I ate it up. They go on fake dates, they deal with work drama, they learn to fit their lives together... it really did a good job of showing me that they can be a great match. Shelby is a workaholic who wants to hang out in the same room with his partner while he works on his laptop. And Lynette, super devoted cupid that she is, wants to do the same thing. (I appreciate how while Lynette is a distinctive character, you can really see how she's influenced by her chosen partner- I imagine she's less of a workaholic on other routes.) But I could really buy these two as a power couple, and it was fun to see them realize the same thing, slowly. Alas, but also lol, neither of them are good at communicating. Shelby tries to confess like five times how he's really feeling, but is interrupted every time, or turns into a coward. Lynette gears herself up to do it, then gets interrupted. Melodrama, and - yes. It ends in a classic misunderstanding where they both think the other is in love with someone else, and they break up and it's delicious angst that I really appreciate because it wasn't dragged out. I don't care for misunderstandings, but if they must happen, have them go by quickly. And this one did, so we could get to the other half of the plot: when the industrial espionage reaches a new pitch, turns into kidnapping, and the entire plot goes off the rails in a weird way! Let's just say it ends with true love, everyone safe and alive, and a fade to black for the sex scene. (Awww) Followed by the most realistic thing in the game yet: hungry after sex, no food in the fridge, neither wants to cook or go out for food, so they order takeout.

Overall, I really liked this route. It gave me a lot of chances to see Shelby as someone who wants to do right for those he cares about, but he's extremely conscious of how he's perceived, and he's spent his entire life trying to protect himself from being ostracized by others. There's no deep dark secret here, just an awkward, shy man who wants to do his best. I appreciate how he loosens up a bit for Lynette - he'll never be a guy who can take a casual day off and relax, but for her sake he'll be around for her and more. It felt... honestly, it felt fairly realistic as a relationship? Like, despite being mired in melodrama soap opera stuff, the practicality of aligning schedules to have breakfast together spoke to me. Two adults wanting to make it work while fitting with their lives. That said, I do wish the game had addressed a little more of the whole... she's dating her boss thing. Shelby has no one over him, and he's extremely kind so there was no coercion going on (and BOY was he careful not to make her feel coerced or pressured in any way and I appreciated that) but it was something I think Lynette just never thought about? Which fits as her being Cupid and foreign to regular human life, but it was a little odd. Oh well! Overall I don't have any real complaints here - this was cute, funny, and a perfect palate clenser of a route. I had a good time watching two adults realize they're in love and get there and get married, and I can easily imagine their happily ever after.

Now, the bad end! This was silly. This was really silly. There's a random choice in the middle of the route: look at some papers to be shredded, or just shred them. If you look at them, Lynette sees some weird glyphs, gets a friend's help to find out what they are, and smash cut to her ditching her job and Shelby to become a treasure hunter! Her hobby is too much fun and she's flying to Crete to look for ancient artifacts! Woo! Bad end... for Shelby. Amazing, A+ end, for Lynette. I'm happy for her lol

As a final note, they resolved the mythology angle in Shelby's route by having her cupid's bow vanish as she fell in true love. She's no longer cupid, but mortal - and Shelby never found out that she was cupid. I actually don't mind this! While the plot does some wild things, ultimately Shelby is a fairly mundane man, and it fits him entirely to skip all of that and get to work and love.

I thought about going back for the other bad ends for Shelby, then decided... nah. I want new stuff. So now I'm aiming for Ryuki's route (then Gill's, then Raul, then Allen, then Secret) and following the walkthrough. I'm incredibly satisfied with my first playthrough, and now I want to see the rest. - 11/10/2023