Visual Novels

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This isn't obvious due to the structure of this website, but I am a huge reader! This combines well with anime, subtitles, and so on - but more relevantly, visual novels! I enjoy, of all things, their in-and-out format. Clicking to reveal lines is weirdly satisfying, and they're just as easy to put down and pick up as books. On top of that, lots of them have interesting story structures and do things books can't really do - despite the attempts of ergodic literature to get weird. For a fun basic example, you read through a visual novel, get to the end, and it expects you to restart it - and it adds new scenes that previously weren't available, adding new context to the story. A lot of them have multiple endings and huge branching story routes as well, so you're incentivized to restart and get the whole story.

Right now I'm in a huge otome mood - otome meaning romance-focused visual novels aimed at women, so they typically feature a selection of hot men to date. Yet they're not dating simulators - there's no managing schedules, none of the interactive features you see in the popular Tokimeki Girls' Memorial series. These are visual novels first, and some track love points or other things - but for the most part it's pick the right dialogue choices to wind up on your chosen man's route to see his story. These are story-focused first, and in my opinion it pays off. Most of the otome I read have very strong plots - the romance is a spice, a reward for learning the plots.

Cupid Parasite

CupiPara is almost entirely unlike anything I like in a visual novel: comedy focused, silly, almost no room for plot. I prefer drama, tragedy, adventure, etc etc. But here I am reading it anyways, and it's adorable!

The plot has two sides: side A is greek mythology. Our protagonist is Cupid - THE Cupid - a deity who lives in Celestia, spending her time shooting love arrows at humans. She likes her job - except that she gets scolded because it's just not working. Humans are falling in love and getting married - and then getting divorced. Divorce rates are up! Oh no! (Insert long conversation about how modern American society discourages marriage and makes it difficult for people to socialize, plus with the weakening of traditional 'family roles' there's even less incentive to go for the standard marriage, plus talking about the role of queer marriage and poly relationships-- the game, alas/fortunately, does not really examine this and focuses on being fluffy... at least so far.) I respect that Cupid takes this criticism as a reason to go find out, well, how humans do it. She sends herself to Earth, goes to college, lives as a human - and becomes a bridal advisor for the Cupid Corporation.

That is the mythological aspect - it has more to it, and I guarantee it will come up deeper into the character routes, but for now it's set dressing. Cupid has her bow and arrow and could use magic to find everyone's true love, but she wants to learn human methods to find true love for others instead - thus creating healthy long-term relationships that don't end in divorce. I like this. I like examining the difference between love at first sight and building a working relationship. I'm biased as I'm in one, and place a lot of value in learning how to be compatible, communication, etc - but it's so nice to see a story emphasize this.

Side B is the meat of the story: Cupid, now going as Lynette Mirror, wants a promotion. Her boss says she can have one... if she can take the five worst clients at her matchmaking company and get them married. We proceed to meet the least appealing group of love interests in an otome I've ever met, as their initial impressions are bad.

They're called 'The Parasite Five', they all suck, and here's their profiles:

Gill Lovecraft, the Lovelorn Parasite. He signed up to find a wife because he cannot stop pining for a girl he met in college, and he thinks this will work. Unfortunately, his advisor is Lynette... the girl he met in college. He comes across as a shy, sweet guy who is utterly devoted to the point of suppressing himself. I'm torn on thinking he's cute and would be a good match, and being terrified that he has a stepford smile, and as one reviewer put it - he's one bad day from becoming a full yandere. (Overprotective, controlling, all in the name of devotion.) I'm curious if his character route can make him less threatening - but we'll see!

Monsieur Esse, aka Shelby Snail, aka Lynette's boss - the CEO of Cupid Corp. Prestige Parasite. A workaholic who is known to the press as a loving and devoted husband, he, uh, isn't actually married and revealing this now would destroy the company. So he's desperate, and tries to resolve this by... proxy dating? Lynette is told Monsieur Esse is rich, private, and eccentric and she needs to get him married. He has sent his secretary as a proxy to relay all conversation. If this isn't bad enough, I need to emphasize: he is a workaholic. When he isn't working (which is never) he is either exercising or sleeping. He eats jelly drinks and protein bars and has no life outside of being a well-connected CEO. I'm doing his route first because, well, I'm curious to see how we'll resolve the almost impossible obstacles here.

Raul Aconite. Obsessed Parsite. An actor who doesn't want to get married. He's here because he's been cast in a high profile romance movie and he wants to learn about love so he can act it better. He's also a huge - HUGE - mythology nerd, and comes across as autistic. (This is not intended as disparagement - I am autistic and his infodumping feels familiar.) He works mythology into every conversation he can, infodumps as much as he can, and doesn't seem to realize that he's overpowering conversations and being offputting. I would say that instead of love, he needs to learn about how to interact with other people first... but then I do my best to mask, which is why I have this website. Ahem. The game does not bring up autism at all on the common route. I am curious about his route - but you can't access it without beating the game first!

Keisaiin F Ryuki, Ryuki for short. Glamor Parasite. A nineteen year old fashion designer who was forced to sign up by his family, as an attempt to get him to stop being a snooty teenager. Yeah. I will be completely honest: I'm over thirty. My reaction to this guy is that I want to wait at least five years to see how he matures. Even if I try to set the age thing aside, his issues are both annoying and straightforward: he judges everyone based on physical appearance, is obsessed with beauty and maintaining it, and doesn't want to talk to anyone who is ugly. He uses a spritz bottle to make people back off, claiming the air is dry and bad for the skin. He calls people based on hex color codes, in a 'cute' way to describe that he's calling everyone a 4 or 5 and he'll only talk to 8s. Yeah. I'm not prioritizing his route - that said, reviewers mention it's apparently a good starting point as, well, it's straightforward like he is. I don't hate that.

Allan Melville. Thieving Parasite. He doesn't want to get married either! He's here explicitly because he's horny for women who are taken. He wants to meet people who are in love so he can try to seduce them. Yeah. Yep. Yeah. This is everything I don't want in a man, fictional or otherwise. That said... I am curious about his story, because this seems set up to explode violently for everyone involved. Also, like Raul, you can't date him without beating the game first - which implies juicy secret story stuff.

Secret Character. What? Yes! There is a secret love interest that you can access by finishing every route.I am desperate to find out who he is, but I have some suspicions already...

So... yeah. This is the rom-com aspect. NONE of these guys are worth your time, it's clear to everyone especially the protagonist, and so this provides a weirdly compelling hook: what is their deal? How will Lynette help them? Since you know it's an otome and she's destined to date all of them... how? Why? Will she be happy? And so here I am frantically racing through the game, eager to find out.

I read otome for escapism reasons, and this one is perfect. The stakes are low, the plot is silly, the characters are interesting, and there's a whiff of mythology. I proceeded to blast through the common route, and - oh! I should explain the structure of the game. It has a flowchart, but honestly it doesn't need one. This is simple: [common route] -> [character route] -> [ending] -> [restart, choose different choices in common route] -> [character route], etc. Common route choices determine two things: A) which route you're going on, and B) the initial conditions for a good/bad ending. Endings for characters are: Normal, Bad, Good, with some alternatives.

The common route is short! I don't have a time estimate (thanks, Switch, for not having great playtime estimates!), but it only took me a few days of casual reading in the evenings. I would say it's good with some great moments and it got me invested - but it is a bit flawed, in that there's a little too much repetition (Lynette, oh my gosh, I know you're Cupid and you want people to get married happily) and some of the plot beats are TOO silly... but none of it was a dealbreaker for me. Cupid Parasite tells you straight up it's going to be silly, and the repetition did end. What I thought was the silliest aspect - too silly - actually turned out charming? Here's what it is: halfway through, for publicity, Cupid Corp's advertising director basically forces Lynette and the Parasite 5 to live in the same house for a reality show for a month. They all go along with it with a "sure, why not?" attitude and it turns into an excuse for some really nice humor and bonding as a group. I've also never read something that really played with reality shows as a concept like this - what's trending on fake!instagram mattered to Lynette.

That said, while the entire game is set in fake!America (they're in the city of Los York), the reality show segments were so obviously written by Japanese writers who aren't familiar with how Americans do reality shows - the show was presented by a morning show host, and the entire vibe was, well - forgive the youtube link, but have you ever seen the clip of the Japanese people asked to eat items that are made of chocolate - or not? The over the top presentation, the extreme goofiness - that was Cupid Parasite's show, which stood out to me, a veteran of watching stuff like Project Runway or America's Next Top Model. It also wasn't invasive, in the sense that - there were no hidden cameras, they weren't filmed all the time, it was just "we've stuck these people in a house, and we come to film every week! what will happen?!?!?!?" Very weird... but also kind of wholesome? I am ruined by American television.

Now I'm on Shelby's route, and I'm happy to report that early in it just drops the pretense that Lynette hasn't guessed who Monsieur Esse is by now. I'll report back when I read more! - 11/7/2023

Cupid Parasite - Update (Spoilers for Shelby Snail's route!)

Shelby Snail's route complete, and a bad end acquired! I watched the credits roll, and got a complete story and I am really, really happy. This is one of the odd joys of visual novels - I could uninstall the game and be done and happy. But I really do want to see more, so back in I go! But let's talk about Shelby first. In a lot of ways I really think the common route pushes him as a 'main' character - even if he's not on the box art. Why? Because he has POV scenes where we see what he's thinking, the first choice in the game you make influences if he likes you or not, and his hook of hiding his identity is really interesting.

It's funny, too - in a vacuum I like to play these games blind and see who I wind up with. But this one is very direct about how you should pick, and I... actually chose Raul first, because I wanted (want) to find out what his deal is. He won't stop infodumping, he reads as autistic, I need to know more, basically. But his route is locked at first! So I turned to the walkthrough, and it recommends Ryuki first. But I feel no desire to prioritize him, and well - Shelby is my second choice. Sorry, Shelby, but... you know what? His route fleshed him out as a really great guy! (Yes yes I know he's a business owner and rich and eat the rich. I'm playing this game for the fantasy, ssh.) So the deal is: common route ends, the game shuffles off the other guys (they quit Cupid Corp and go back to their lives) and we focus on Lynette trying to help the still active, still mysterious Monsieur Esse. I was wondering how the game would handle the secret identity thing, but he basically calls Lynette into his office and reveals it very early on. Which then shifts it over to - industrial espionage! Someone keeps trying to sneak and get photos of Shelby's home so they can prove to the press that he's single - instead of married like he says he is. To that end, as Lynette agrees to keep trying to find him a partner, in the meantime she also agrees to move in with him and become his fake wife, so he can introduce her to business partners at dinners and fool the snoop. I immediately got the popcorn out for a good fake dating AU, and it delivered in spades. Kind of cliche spades, but I ate it up. They go on fake dates, they deal with work drama, they learn to fit their lives together... it really did a good job of showing me that they can be a great match. Shelby is a workaholic who wants to hang out in the same room with his partner while he works on his laptop. And Lynette, super devoted cupid that she is, wants to do the same thing. (I appreciate how while Lynette is a distinctive character, you can really see how she's influenced by her chosen partner- I imagine she's less of a workaholic on other routes.) But I could really buy these two as a power couple, and it was fun to see them realize the same thing, slowly. Alas, but also lol, neither of them are good at communicating. Shelby tries to confess like five times how he's really feeling, but is interrupted every time, or turns into a coward. Lynette gears herself up to do it, then gets interrupted. Melodrama, and - yes. It ends in a classic misunderstanding where they both think the other is in love with someone else, and they break up and it's delicious angst that I really appreciate because it wasn't dragged out. I don't care for misunderstandings, but if they must happen, have them go by quickly. And this one did, so we could get to the other half of the plot: when the industrial espionage reaches a new pitch, turns into kidnapping, and the entire plot goes off the rails in a weird way! Let's just say it ends with true love, everyone safe and alive, and a fade to black for the sex scene. (Awww) Followed by the most realistic thing in the game yet: hungry after sex, no food in the fridge, neither wants to cook or go out for food, so they order takeout.

Overall, I really liked this route. It gave me a lot of chances to see Shelby as someone who wants to do right for those he cares about, but he's extremely conscious of how he's perceived, and he's spent his entire life trying to protect himself from being ostracized by others. There's no deep dark secret here, just an awkward, shy man who wants to do his best. I appreciate how he loosens up a bit for Lynette - he'll never be a guy who can take a casual day off and relax, but for her sake he'll be around for her and more. It felt... honestly, it felt fairly realistic as a relationship? Like, despite being mired in melodrama soap opera stuff, the practicality of aligning schedules to have breakfast together spoke to me. Two adults wanting to make it work while fitting with their lives. That said, I do wish the game had addressed a little more of the whole... she's dating her boss thing. Shelby has no one over him, and he's extremely kind so there was no coercion going on (and BOY was he careful not to make her feel coerced or pressured in any way and I appreciated that) but it was something I think Lynette just never thought about? Which fits as her being Cupid and foreign to regular human life, but it was a little odd. Oh well! Overall I don't have any real complaints here - this was cute, funny, and a perfect palate clenser of a route. I had a good time watching two adults realize they're in love and get there and get married, and I can easily imagine their happily ever after.

Now, the bad end! This was silly. This was really silly. There's a random choice in the middle of the route: look at some papers to be shredded, or just shred them. If you look at them, Lynette sees some weird glyphs, gets a friend's help to find out what they are, and smash cut to her ditching her job and Shelby to become a treasure hunter! Her hobby is too much fun and she's flying to Crete to look for ancient artifacts! Woo! Bad end... for Shelby. Amazing, A+ end, for Lynette. I'm happy for her lol

As a final note, they resolved the mythology angle in Shelby's route by having her cupid's bow vanish as she fell in true love. She's no longer cupid, but mortal - and Shelby never found out that she was cupid. I actually don't mind this! While the plot does some wild things, ultimately Shelby is a fairly mundane man, and it fits him entirely to skip all of that and get to work and love.

I thought about going back for the other bad ends for Shelby, then decided... nah. I want new stuff. So now I'm aiming for Ryuki's route (then Gill's, then Raul, then Allen, then Secret) and following the walkthrough. I'm incredibly satisfied with my first playthrough, and now I want to see the rest. - 11/10/2023

Otome Parade

I have ADHD, and it's been leading me down the path of reading too many otomes at once. But that means I get to tell you about them! So here, have a fast n' dirty summary of what I'm reading, why I'm reading it, and what it's about.

Hana Awase

First! Hana Awase: Mizuchi. It has a longer title, but that'll get you to its vndb page. This is a weird one, and that weirdness is what attracted me. The premise is, card game battles! It's Yu-gi-oh, the otome!

Except, of course, it's a little weirder than that. (And boy, Yugioh is weird. I am very fond of it.) In order: there's a prestigious high school that trains people to play this card game. The card game is hanafuda (hana awase variant). It's magical hanafuda, so you need two players - a dude and a lady working as a team (no queer people allowed sadly) - the dude plays the cards, the lady powers him with mana. (Apparently mana powering up also involves virginity? And kisses? This is going to be concerning!) (Before we get too concerned, this is an all-ages otome, so I won't have to dodge sex scenes.)

So we have magical romance hanafuda, and apparently there are shadowy monsters to fight, so what more can we add to the mix? Prophecies! Our heroine, Mikoto, was a normal girl. The story opens with her in a car accident, waking up in a hospital bed with no memories of the accident, and a student of the hanafuda school at her side. He rescued her... and he just leaves without giving her his name. Okay! Well, he left a card behind. She picks it up, and long story short the card chose her, she's prophesized to be a powerful senki candidate, and hanafuda school will pay for her tuition and deal with the paperwork to have her transferred. She, in an unsurprising twist, agrees! She really likes hanafuda and respects the players, but she was unprepared for the magical nonsense or being paired up with a dude ASAP or dealing with high-class classmates who already hate her.

So I effectively get a bunch of fun anime cliches thrown into a blender with powerful Oneesama e... vibes, a cool hanafuda minigame to play, and beautiful artwork. There's no way I was going to miss this one, basically.

Final details: the game is sold in... four fully priced pieces on the Switch? The hell? I don't like this, I don't support it. There's apparently a PC/steam release coming, but I, alas, am impatient. Now, on top of this, the four pieces? Those are your character routes, but you CANNOT skip around. You MUST start with Mizuchi -> Himeutsugi -> Karakurenai/Utsutsu -> Iroha. Wild. Last game I played like this (even if Tempest) just had the routes in the same game, but... apparently this is how it was released in Japan. Also, yes, you DO have to replay the card minigame and level up four times over. Whee. I'm actually looking forward to this but it sure is a design choice!

I fully expect playing this game - all of it - to take a long time, between the gameplay, the length of the story, and my own divided interests, but I'm ready for a journey. And for an excuse to play hanafuda again, I love hanafuda!

Bonus: This Hana Awase Review really helped me become intrigued to play this weird game. I'd recommend reading it if you're interested!

Irresistible Mistakes

Keep it short, Strix, keep it short. You have a lot to go through... Okay! Irresistible Mistakes is an otome made for phones, and sold to the USA in Voltage's Love 365 app, with f2p/premium currency nonsense gating its content. (Voltage has a lot of these fun otomes hidden in their phone apps sadly...) Voltage has been freeing them and packaging their content into compilations, sold on the Switch and PC (it seems to be random which ones reach PC alas). As a phone game, this has no voice acting and the scenes are broken up into short chapters.

Irresistible Mistakes has the delightful premise of: you're an adult woman working for an ad company in Japan. You go out drinking with coworkers in a big party, get stinking drunk, and have a one night stand with one of your hot coworkers. You wake up the next morning in the hotel, realize you're late for work, and leave in a hurry...and realize that oh, oops, you don't remember who you slept with. And there are a LOT of hot coworkers in your company. Oh no!

Thus begins character selection - pick the dude you slept with, start his route, and then based on your selections there are usually two ending variants. Potentially more. I played one route on my phone last year, and honestly? I still remember it super fondly. The writing is surprisingly sweet and mature, and the dude was cute.

I'm rereading the route I finished on the phone, and enjoying myself! I'm dating Toshiaki, an advertising exec from hell who is very strict and demanding. He leads the team that meets with clients, designs the ads, and so on, and it's high-pressure work. As per the cliche, he seems like a demon but he's actually super sweet (as long as you don't slack off) and yeah okay I have a type in otome games (hi Cupid Parasite Shelby, you're cute~) His route is you being assigned to his team, working on making the perfect canned coffee ad, and falling in love. It's all mundane and sweet and I like it a lot! I'm planning to reread it, do the other ending variant, then see who I want to date next.

Cafe Enchante

We're back to normal otome again! Woo! This is a lavish full otome with voice acting sold as a single game, with a fun premise and cute dudes to date. Yes. Yes!

Cafe Enchante has your standard premise: grandpa died, he left you the farm I mean cafe. You go to visit it and try to decide if you want to quit your job and take over, find a mysterious door inside, open it, and WHOOPS it's an isekai door. A demon lord, angel, headless knight, and fire dude enter immediately, and want to see your grandpa: they have been DESPERATE for coffee and he's had the shop closed for months.

With this setup, the game seems like it should be a cute slice of life fantasy series. Serve coffee, talk to dudes, grow as a person, y'know. But I'm told from reviews that this game goes to some weird and dark places and sprouts a plot, so! I'm actually excited for this, cute things that turn dark are my jam.

I'm picking the headless knight first because I love suits of armor, and I'll report back on how it goes! ... Or if the common route is SUPER LONG!

Otome Parade Summary

As a fast summary, though, I am still reading Cupid Parasite (Ryuki's route is adorable), even if Tempest (in the endgame now I think), Code Realize (in the final chapter of the LONG common route woo), Hakuoki (on PC, just started, this deserves a full write-up), and those are the big ones. They're all huge games with fully fledged plots and character routes and I am truly enjoying this massive buffet.

For what it's worth, I typically spend my days at my computer, so I have things rigged so I can read while I do other things (like write this up) and I actually normally read this much - but in books. So I'm taking a break from reading books to reading visual novels instead. My goodreads is sad but I am happy, and since I ain't getting paid to do any of this stuff, I get to decide what I want. - 11/14/2023

Code Realize

Code Realize is a steampunk otome that falls directly into - weirdly enough - a kind of cozy genre in its common route. It's ostensibly about action and adventure, but the writing feels light enough that I'm not worried for anyone. Which is a mean thing to say, but this game just hasn't shown the kind of writing chops that makes me feel like it's a great game. This is not to say that it's bad, or not worth reading! Ah, let me back up and summarize it.

Our heroine Cardia wakes up in a mansion in the woods with amnesia, reads a note from her dad that says that he loves her, she needs to stay in the mansion, and he's coming for her. She does this for several years, and the game opens with a group of soldiers being sent from London to apprehend a monster in the mansion - her. At first, they're all "we can't hurt a girl", but then someone tries to grab her... and upon skin-to-skin contact his hand melts off.

Cardia, you see, has a weird gem embedded in her chest, and her entire body is pure acid. If she touches anything - and I mean anything - it will melt violently. The only reason she can exist at all is because her father left her clothing and gloves that are immune to this effect. (How does she eat? I don't recall, honestly, but she can. The game does answer this question.) (What about, y'know, dandruff? Lost hair follicles? What about bodily waste? As far as I know, this isn't covered - except to say that if Cardia spends too much time in a location, it slowly becomes poisonous, similar to how radioactivity builds up.) This is part of what I mean by how the writing is lightweight: it sets up hard science, but doesn't really think it entirely through, so you'll have to just go with it. I'm okay with this, but I can see where it's a problem.

Anyways, Cardia! She's a sweet teenager who hates that she just melted a dude and a dog (there is non-graphic animal violence in this) and she genuinely doesn't want to hurt anyone. The soldiers freak out and try to shoot her, and she's rescued! Meet our hero, Arsene Lupin! Yep - it's one of these, too! Lots of historical/folk-loric figures as anime pretty boys, and they may or may not be accurate. I'll come back to this in a moment. Cardia is rescued, Lupin explains that he's here to steal the gem in her body - he's surprised it's there, so he instead agrees to help her out! Long story short, Lupin and his crew will now devote their energies to finding out how to make Cardia not poisonous, and she'll live with them and help them out. VERY otome premise but I'm so okay with it.

The game has this really sweet found family theme, actually, and it's one of the best executed ones I've seen in otome yet. Once you roll with 'they all live in the same house', you get the joy of Cardia sharing meals with these guys and planning heists together and training with them and by the time you wrap the common route you totally believe that they're going to be friends and family after the game is over.

So, historical figures! It's set in Victorian London with a steampunk twist, so there's the queen and so on. Arsene Lupin is a gentleman thief who only steals from the rich and evil, and our primary love interest. His crew (and our fellow love interests) are: Victor Frankenstein, Van Helsing, Impey Barbicane, and Count Saint-Germain. Yup! We'll run into Herlock Sholmes and others, as well - but they're not romanceable.

The story structure is: long common route followed by a hard split off into each character route (based on which dude you have the most affection for, via choices in the story) - and you cannot romance Lupin at all until you finish every other character route! This is fascinating as he's got the most prominence in the marketing, art, story... as much as I'm interested in the other dudes, it really feels like they wrote this story intending a Cardia/Lupin endgame.

Real fast: the common route is Cardia getting rescued, going to London, meeting all the boys, and then a series of episodic adventures centering around the theme of "we need information/money" as they continue the quest to find Cardia's missing dad, with the aim of helping her. The big finale is them entering an airship race, with everyone pitching in to help - the prize at stake is the location of Cardia's dad's hidden lab. Phew! It's fun but lightweight fare, with plenty of hints to deeper secrets and villainous plotting.

What really makes this work is the fun interplay between the dudes, and I won't lie: I spent a lot of time being completely charmed by watching them interact, moreso than I did the dudes in Cupid Parasite. In some otomes where they make the main cast hang out I can see them being friends in the future, but not always - and in this case I can totally see them wanting to continue living together. It's a really nice feeling!

Our dudes:

Phew! Now - we have villains, a mysterious organization hunting Cardia, the Queen of England, Herlock Sholmes out trying to stop a thief and a criminal from doing stuff, and more. It's a busy game, and I will have more to say about it as I read the final common route chapter and enter the character routes.

As a final note - I disparaged the writing, and I still kind of do. Compared specifically to other otomes, it feels light in a way that's at odds with how much it's juggling. I suspect a lot of my feeling comes from wanting this to be longer and deeper than it is, because I know otome games can do that (Hakuoki, anyone?) - but at the same time, it's still a fantastic read, and I'm very invested in everyone. My first route is Impey Barbicane, and that was because reviews say he's the lightest and best route to start with, but now it's because - I just smile every time I hear his voice, or see how cheerful he is. Cardia and he have fun chemistry, too!

Okay I lied last final note: the game has not one but two fandiscs, and both were translated and released in English! The reading order for this trilogy is Code Realize: Guardian of Rebirth (first game) -> Future Memories (fandisc1) -> Wintertide Miracles (fandisc2). There is also Code Realize: Bouquet of Roses, which is a compilation of Guardian of Rebirth and Future Memories. Don't get confused, and remember to start with Guardian of Rebirth. - 11/15/2023

Cupid Parasite - Ryuki F Keiisain Route Spoilers

Finally! Finally done with this route! I see why it was recommended as a first route in walkthroughs, but I personally think Shelby is a better 'first time' resolution of the story... mostly because I didn't care for this! Ryuki's route was straightforward, sweet, cute, and honestly a bit boring. Which was a bit sad, given that Ryuki's whole setup could have been good. Ah well. Here's the recap, if you've forgotten: Ryuki is the youngest of the Parasite 5, aged 19. He's a famous fashion designer, heir to a super famous clothing brand, antisocial, and obsessed with beauty. He has synesthesia (specifically when he sees people, he automatically rates how beautiful they are, then sees them as colors - the nicer the shade, the prettier you are) and he is an asshole about it. He does not sugar-coat anything, is strict, and straight up uses a mist bottle to keep people away from him, claiming they're dehydrated.

I wish he hadn't been so young. It kept bothering me, as, well, I'm over thirty and I keep thinking 'it's a child who needs time to mature' and sadly the route didn't disabuse me of this. See - the route's primary plot was about Lynette trying to get a side character hooked up with another one, using fashion. Lynette kept working with Ryuki, giving him feedback on designs, and it ultimately turned into them tailing the couple on a date to determine how the clothes worked together. (That was weird!) Cue them becoming kind of friends, Lynette visiting his house, meeting his dog... It kind of worked and didn't work as a Lynette keeps running into him or spending time with him due to work - and slowly she learns more about his ultra-strict family.

So - bluntly - the two biggest problems with this route was that first, there was no art for Ryuki's new awesome fashion designs. He designs for the Parasite 5 and Lynette, but we don't get to see any of it. I know the devs of the game probably had a set budget for where to put the CGs, but it really felt like the fashion designer route deserved more artwork so we could see what he was doing. It really stood out, in a bad way. Second, it felt like nothing happened, plot-wise? They meet up for work, they test clothes, they help each other out, the most dramatic moment was the thunderstorm that kept Lynette from going home one visit - and the second most dramatic moment was Ryuki getting a text from his grandma that she found him a fiance and they'll get married asap.

I was entirely set up for melodrama, but ultimately everything was resolved quickly and lightly and while that's sweet, I just wanted more. It even felt like trying to help Ryuki be nicer just... vanished, as he decided to be nice to Lynette. Which, well, good for him? I don't know. I was a bit bored, didn't really care for Ryuki as a romance, and that was that. I didn't need anything as action-packed and crazy as Shelby's route, but I wanted... yeah, more. Oh well.

Ultimately this route left me wanting a game about fashion and fashion designers. I should go watch some Project Runway, probably... ah well. It's nice to have it behind me, at least. So onwards to Gill! - 11/16/2023

Cupid Parasite - Gill Route Spoilers

Boy, it's hard to read a romance visual novel when you're intensely repulsed by the dude your heroine is supposed to be dating. I had a suspicion I would hate this guy, but I wasn't expecting to be this grossed out. The game even calls out his bad behavior multiple times, but then ultimately rewards it, because the route has to end with Lynette falling in love with him and that being celebrated.

So what's the deal? Why am I so mad? Well, Gill's problem is that he is a nice guy. As in. As Lynette's roommate in college, he figures out that she's new to normal life, so he takes on teaching her things - how to do laundry, how to cook, etc etc. Fine, cute, don't hate that. But he adopts the mentality that she needs to be protected and cared for in everything - he worries about men taking advantage of her, and even shoos off a pushy dude in college. Lynette's all 'wow he's protecting me!' and grateful, and like, this impression isn't wrong. He does help her out. But he goes from thinking 'this is an innocent I need to help' to 'she's so cute I want to have sex with her' and we're down the rabbit hole into hell. He takes photos of her and hoards them secretly. He is constantly pining for her. He pours himself into the housework to make sure she never has to do anything when he could do it for her. He writes love letters and never sends them. He overhears a conversation between Lynette and Claris (her bff) and since he hears Lynette saying that she wants a partner who has a lot of time for her, he changes his entire career so he'll have more time to be at home for her. This man. Is. Obsessed. Like, horrifying, creepily obsessed.

So, Gill's route has a lot of flashbacks! Every other scene you're in the past witnessing Gill trying to help Lynette and while it's intended to be cute, there's this nonstop vibe of how horrifying it is. They even specify that he's having wet dreams about her. Yeah.

There I am, reading this route, being barraged by reminders that Gill is the world's creepiest nice guy. My danger signs are flashing, I'm ready to leave. Gill's behavior has not improved at all - the common route demonstrated that - and almost immediately the game provides a twist - Gill's been kicked out of his apartment! - and yep Lynette lets him move back in with her and Claris. Which kicks us RIGHT back to Gill doing literally every chore and cooking food for her and being the perfect house husband. Which, like, I'm not going to deny the appeal of a perfect househusband, but it's to the point where Lynette is thinking of wanting to take some of the chores back and him being all 'nah I'm doing everything' and she's too nice to turn him down.

The first bad end in this route is the one where Lynette starts taking days off from work, then quitting it as Gill completely pampers her. She never leaves her apartment or does anything but read and rest, and Gill cooks for her, does every chore, literally everything until she's in a pampered haze. Claris leaves in disgust, and it's an omen of bad times ahead. Literally Gill is capable of enabling self-destruction and he does it happily without seeing what's wrong.

Next up, the misunderstandings. Gill never, ever explains himself. Back in college he asked her out to prom, she assumed he was picking her as a leftover, they have a great time, and at the moment where he means to confess to her, he says something easily misinterpretable, hugs her, and Lynette doesn't realize he thinks they're dating. So she acts normally and crushes his heart. Oh no. I'm so sad. Anyways he writes a love letter, sticks it in her text book, she swaps it with Claris and never receives it. (And it's not signed, either, so Claris assumes it's a prank.) So with that bullet dodged, Lynette moves on with her life and Gill is devastated.

Now in the present, they begin to untangle the misunderstandings, Lynette realizes she's in love with Gill - and that he's been in love with her this whole time - they begin to talk and as they realize that she never meant for him to spend all of his time with her, he finally gets a job and chases his dream. And - yep, surprise! Gill has a personality outside of "obsessed with Lynette" and it's "secretly loves cars, is the heir to a car making company, and is avoiding his family because he wants to chase his dreams instead of becoming a workaholic". Okay not bad, except that it's all wrapped around the same idiot misunderstandings as before: no one cares if he loves cars. His father doesn't expect him to be a workaholic, and it'd be totally fine if he came back. Literally no one in Gill's family knows how to talk to each other. His brother has been married to his wife for almost a decade and he's been lying to her about how much he loves cars (he hates them). This is stupid. This is an entire family soap opera drama based on misunderstandings, and while I can handle a few, this is too many. Lynette basically helps him untangle all of this, they fall in love and have sex, and then at midnight she reads his cellphone, misunderstands a text from his coworker, and... dramatically flees back to Celestia to never return to Earth again.

I hate Lynette in this route too. She's extremely passive, ready to misunderstand everything, and spends her time pining for Gill. It fits her, I guess, but it feels like a perversion of her personality after how forward and interested and neat she is in other routes.

Anyways, this is when the route goes to crazy town. I want to like this stuff - Gill loses his mind with grief, builds an entire magical flying car with Claris and Allen's help, flies to Celestia, finds Claris mid-argument with her dad, declares his love for her, shows off his secret collection of secret photos of her, which enrages her dad so much that he decides to obliterate this creepy stalker. As I'm rooting for him, Gill reveals that his magic flying car is also a Transformer, it turns into 'Bumblepig', and we get a Transformer vs Mars punch-out while Lynette watches and cheers Gill on. (This also annoyed me! First, the Transformers he's in love with are based off of the movie-verse, complete with Bumblepig communicating only in radio whistles. Wow I hate Michael Bay for butchering my favorite franchise! Second, Gill's secret love of cars, OK, sure, I can buy that. But Gill can instantly build a full-ass Transformer that can fly? No fucking way. No way. I don't care that he had a magical artifact to power it. Bumblebee doesn't even fly! God.) Gill's fighting spirit impresses Mars so much that he agrees to let Gill marry Lynette, and we skip to the end where they're married and happy and living together and working as a team and blah blah blah oh my god I hate him. He got some character development, but he never stops being this mega-creep who is obsessed with her, and Lynette is just okay with it now, because she's in love too.

ON TOP OF THAT, now that Gill is a rich CEO who is working his dream job with his dream wife with his magical Transformer who is his personal car, he ALSO got all of his love letters (he has hundreds) bundled together and published and he won a writing award for them.

So the love interest I like the least gets every single reward handed to him, Lynette is happy, and I'm ready to throw my switch out of the window. The only good side is that Gill does get that character development so he's less overbearing, but boy it's. I cannot decribe how skeeved out I am, especially to see the game effectively celebrate this behavior and treat it like it's charming or funny. Gill has secret photos of her. He swapped classes in college to be with her. He changed his job to be with her. He is, as a reviewer put it, one bad day from putting her in a cage to keep her safe.

gahhh.

In conclusion I hate Gill and I'm moving on. This was easily the nadir of the game and I'm ready to get back to the good stuff - the other routes where Gill pines hopelessly as she falls in love with other dudes and lives healthier, happier lives. The bit in Ryuki's route where he confesses and she explains she doesn't see him like that? Oh yeah. That's the good stuff.

Onwards to Raul's route, which I'm excited for! Onwards to other, better pastures! -11/22/2023